runcible spoon

What? No chopped liver?

It's wrong, I'm sure, to get offended by the results of an instant internet quiz.

But then again, it did say I was 'ordinary' and that people 'think they've had enough of [me].'

*sniff!*

You Are Chinese Food

Exotic yet ordinary. People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour.

What Kind of Food Are You?

But really, the scarier thing is that a Chinese food designation is actually rather spot-on for me. Mmm ... roll on lazy January yum chas ...

Attack of the jitters

When I was in pre-school, I was extremely upset not to get the part of Mary in the end-of-year Christmas play. I understood that that was the plum job, but it went to some other, more photogenic little girl. 

One other girl and I were cast as angels, instead. We wore wings and white sheets as costumes, and our role was to sweep up the shreds of hay that had escaped from Baby Jesus’ manger. Just as we were meant to go out on stage, the other little angel threw up on to the kindergarten floor. I had to go out alone and perform the sweeping duties.

The past six weeks have been a little like that other kid’s sudden attack of nerves. At first, I wasn’t blogging because time simply got away from me, but soon the very fact that I hadn’t blogged was causing me to feel acutely self-conscious about the whole enterprise.

The week before Christmas 2005 seems as good a time as any to put the nerves aside and get back to sweeping onstage, metaphorically speaking.

 

Just don't

52 projects has a list so pertinent, it scares me.

It's a not-to-do list:

Do not check your emails ...
Do not go to nytimes.com ...
Do not decide to make yourself an elaborate lunch ...
Do not start going through all the papers on your desk ...
Do not start perusing your own bookshelves ....
Do not start going through your photos ...
Do not start thinking about how your project is lame ...
Do not decide to start a screenplay (unless, of course, that is your project) ...
Do not get up and keep getting yourself a glass of water ...

And, natch:

Do not post to your blog.

Hello Kitty sky fantasy

As brought to my attention by my friend Liz, I now present to you: Hello Kitty Air.

Actually, it's EVA Air, but they're launching an Airbus that's 'painted nose-to-tail with super-sized characters from the charming world of Hello Kitty. '

On the right side of the aircraft, identified with “Hello Kitty EVA Air,” Kitty and her friends greet passengers with welcoming smiles.   Daniel Star, his aviator glasses perched on his forehead, stands nearest the cockpit with Kitty by his side.  Tim and Tammy, the mischievous monkeys, sit over the wing.  Joy, the blue mouse, is poised on the engine.  And Mimmy White, Kitty’s sister, joins parents Mary and George White, near the back of the aircraft.  On the left of the aircraft under “EVA Air Hello Kitty,” Kitty stands nearest the cockpit beside her friend Kathy, the white rabbit.   Rory, the yellow squirrel, frolics on the engine.  Tim and Tammy and Kitty’s family are featured in the same positions as on the other side of the aircraft.

Is it possible that the inside of the plane is even more disturbing? What are 'Hello Kitty meals'?

EVA repeated the livery theme inside the cabin by creating a Hello Kitty fantasy with sweet Hello Kitty paintings on the walls, and by outfitting flight attendants with Hello Kitty ribbons for their hair and Hello Kitty aprons.  Passengers booked on EVA’s Hello Kitty Jet will get pink Hello Kitty boarding passes and luggage tags.  Onboard, they will enjoy a series of inflight Hello Kitty service accessories, Hello Kitty meals, and have access to exclusive EVA Air Hello Kitty duty-free shopping.

You know what this means, though ... I have to fly in this Airbus. I just have to.

Check out the kitty-flavour fantasy for yourself.

Monday already

The Internet is a wicked, wicked thing. An enabler to the inner procrastinator.  It's better than TV somehow: it sort of papers over your laziness and lulls you into thinking, 'No, no. I'm really doing something here!' 

Sprawled on the couch watching Donald Trump's toupee-like noggin jigging about on The Apprentice, it's harder to kid yourself that this is productive time.

Keepin' bees

Sometimes something so, well, unexpected will do well on eBay.

It's not my auction, but I'd be damn happy if I were getting upwards of 30 bucks for that book. Intriguing.

From one tea lover to another

I love tea with an obsessive fervour. I have been known to go into fancy-pants tea shops (like Tea2 in Sydney and Melbourne or T-bar in Adelaide and so on) and go a bit wild, splurging on a bazillion odd-sounding teas that I will, in all likelihood, never finish.

Nonetheless, the real key to my heart lies in garden-variety tea. Yep, a cuppa made with a teabag and finished off with a splash of milk. I do think that loose-leaf teas taste better, but convenience and laziness draw me back to the 'bag nine times out of ten.

And so, when I think about tea, it's in quite a workaday, knock-about sort of fashion. A cup of tea might be a daily ritual, but it's a very homely, don't-stand-on-ceremony sort of affair.

My mother and all four of my grandparents are also addicted. I suspect like most Australians who are similarly afflicted, it's a hangover from the English. I'm very attached to it. When I stay with people and I discover they're tea drinkers, it puts my heart at ease. It provides me a happy moment of "aha! my kind of people!"

I am smitten, then, with this website, NiceCupOfTeaaAndASitDown, run by Nicey and Wifey.  Being able to vote on biscuits is VERY cute - even if they are all UK ones, so half the time you have no idea what they're on about (in fact, some of the ones they mention sound downright lewd: Viennese Finger up your Coconut Ring, anybody? While Milk Chocolate Liebnitz, on the other hand, sounds quite the intellectual).

Warning: the couch may need mowing

At first, I just liked the picture. 

Then I read the text.  I liked that too:

Unlike your standard-issue sofa, this lush greenery is totally organic, requires no synthetic finishes, and can be brought to life, Golem-style, from salvaged dirt ... Ask your nursery about planting tips unique to your sod. Note: Couch may require mowing.

Reading while walking

I like Stuart's description of How to Read While Walking at the Same Time when in New York City.

He calls it 'shadowing':

Reading when walking is a skill, especially in New York City. My preferred method is to simply walk behind someone else and let them do the work of parting the sea of foot traffic while I get on with my book.

(see September 12 2005, 'Alack! Aaaalack! A-lacke!')

People just write shit and stuff

Yesterday we were all experiencing the blog lurve, but today I think we should visit some people not feelin' it at all.

I heard this on a train the other day. I think it's super:

Commuter1:     So many blogs these days.

Commuter2:     Whaat?

C1:    Blogs. People just write stuff. It's not even entertaining.

C2:    It's weird.

C1:    And all blogs will have a list of other blogs - like, 'these are my friends,' right.  And you'll go from a blog that's interesting - like, it's all celebrities and how Tara Reid had liposuction or something on her stomach so it's looking really weird. And that'll link to a site that has nothing. No pics, no funny commentary, nothing. It sucks.

If only one of those Tara Reid sites would link to me. People, I have NOTHING: no celebs, no goss, no surgery.

Link to me from your liposucking paradises, damn you.

***
ps: thank you Kahli and Tristin for mentions on your lovely blogs! I read your stuff and then think, wow, how hard must Salt Lake City rock?!